I've been writing a lot more lately. Trying to get better disciplined about it and write everyday. So here is another post.
Millenium city stories is stuff from my own super hero world. It started as a setting for my tabletop RPG group and sorta developed from there.
Millenium city is darker than Superman's Metropolis but nicer than Batman's Gotham.
More akin to modern day L.A or the New York of Marvel Comics.
Here goes.
Frozen
I stand at my mirror again, it's been 10 minutes this time, I’m just staring at my reflection. What looks back does not feel like me, That perfect girl is gone. I’m numb. I either empty or angry. I don’t seem capable of any other emotions. Feels like I’m packed in layers of wool or something. Like I’m under water or buried in ice and I can’t find the surface.
I forego the extensive makeup and religious brushing of my hair that used to be part of my morning routine.I’m a pale imitation of what I once was.
It's useless. Stupid, why even bother. It doesn’t matter, it wont change how I feel.
I take a deep breath and push out of the bathroom.
…....
A minute later I’m frozen again. At the foot of my bed, staring at my costume.
I try to recall the feeling the brightly coloured outfit used to give me. Seems like so long ago, like a totally different life. Someone else’s.
I thought I was a hero. It was all so exciting hanging out with powerful, even god-like people. I felt like a rockstar. It got real so fast and I didn’t even realise how serious it was before it was to late. I lost my dad and it is all my fault.
I’m not fit to be a hero. I don’t deserve to be. I failed. Failed to protect those close to me.
I cannot bear to look at that childish stupid costume anymore. I grab it off my bed.
…….
I’m in front of garbage the disposal. I’m not trembling, I’m not scared. I’m not even angry. I am resigned to this. I have to let go of childish things like costumed heroes and secret identities.
A literal god told me to let go of the anger. To forgive but I can’t forgive something unforgivable. I can’t let go. If I do it is like I lose him all over again. I won’t forgive because I don’t want to forget. I’m alone in a kingdom of isolation. I can find my rage deep inside, a swirling storm.
I hold my costume out into the open garbage chute and I let it go.
